The BPD-ization of modern women

Why men are giving up on women, part 6

“Borderline/ Feel like I’m going to lose my mind” — Madonna (a probable borderline case)

In discussing the character of Lee Quinzel in Joker: Folie a Deux in my last entry, I intended to profile a case study of the “borderline” or “BPD (borderline personality disorder)” woman.

If we lived in a time when BPD women were a relative rarity, the trick for men would be to look out for potential “red flags,” and thus know how to avoid these sorts of women. Unfortunately, speaking both from anecdotal experience as well as extensive observation, the baleful truth appears to be that a large number of women, perhaps even a majority, perhaps even a super-majority, display a substantial number of the character traits which taken together are used to identify the BPD disorder.

I don’t make this assertion lightly, or to indulge in needless hyperbole. As far as the so-called NAWALT (“not all women are like that”) objection, I am happy to concede this point (though in fact it’s a canard since I never claimed AWALT); the problem is that these sorts of behaviors are nevertheless all-too-common amongst the contemporary female population, a situation creating a veritable psychic minefield both for men in relationships with women and for single men seeking female companionship.

I mean no disrespect to women generally, nor do I ascribe borderline-esque traits to “female nature.” I do, however, believe the circumstance I am describing to be a serious matter, worth scrutiny and sympathetic examination. All too often, the response to these kinds of malign female behaviors, which often have truly deleterious effects upon the psyches of men—especially younger and more vulnerable men— is dismissed or laughed off, essentially treated like a joke.

Many a “folksy” male comedian or commentator has told stories, meant to amuse and ultimately mollify, in which he gives an account of a woman being unreasonable or unkind to a man, before proceeding to deliver a punch line which communicates the notion that men should just face up to the fact that women are a mystery and the best thing to do is just say “yes, dear,” and let her have her way.

Even “romantic” candy hearts cater to male emasculation!

These same folksy commentators, who are most often “red-state” coded, many of whom are in fact evangelical pastors, tell men always to be patient and forbearing with the women in their lives, and to treasure the gift of womanhood. This wouldn’t be a bad message in and of itself, except for the fact that these same commentators simultaneously upbraid men for their perceived shortcomings, and urge them to “man up.” They don’t tend to ask women to be patient and forbearing with the men in their lives, and to treasure the gift of manhood; instead, it is far more common the commentators demand that a man show that he himself “worthy” of his wife by bettering himself. Needless to say, women aren’t given this sort of “tough love” lecture, and are seldom if ever asked to better themselves to prove that they are “worthy” of their husbands.

This trend in churches and more “conservative” communities thus generally tracks with the more observable double-standards society-wide, which I have discussed previously. When it comes to both aesthetics and behavior, women are typically given far greater latitude, and are likewise treated with far more indulgence. But a far greater problem than the double-standard issue is the aforementioned BPD-ization of women.

Surely, however, the two are inextricably linked. We live in a time when poor behavior from men is castigated and reviled, while similar or worse behavior from women is seen in some context which ostensibly mitigates its awfulness.

For example, a male teacher who statutorily rapes an 6th grade girl is rightly seen for the creep that he is, but a female teacher who statutorily rapes an 6th grade boy is more commonly viewed as “sick” and in need of “help.” Rehabilitation is recommended for the female pedophile, while castration is demanded for the male one. Why on earth should either of them be afforded leniency or compassion, given their identically heinous crimes?

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As long as borderline-like behavior from women is countenanced and excused, it will continue to predominate. But as long as borderline-like behavior predominates amongst women, men are less likely to pursue relationships with the fairer sex.

This, alas, is where we’re at. But how did we get here?

(to be continued)

Andy Nowicki is the author of several books, most recently The Insurrectionist, Muze, and Love and Hidden Agendas, as well as the just-published The Rule of Wrath. Visit his YouTube channel.